Sense and Insensibility

Part of the job I do here requires, at least in the beginning, a willingness to share accomodations with another expat, many times from a completely different country / culture. Sometimes the differences amount to variable understandings / tolerances / expectations of cleanliness, or scheduling:

Sometimes, though, the difficulties can arise from somewhere else. Life in Riyadh can be isolating, and the culture shock arising from different experiences can act as a pressure cooker, to magnify personality eccentricities into a kind of red zone. People can get on our nerves, and things that might not otherwise bother us, do. You see all kinds of "types" here:

1. The Mother Hen – Nurturing, Warm & Approachable
The employee who every one turns to for advice, the Mother Hen is a great listener. He or she is warm, kind, jolly and wise, while also being strict when necessary. Watch out for: Becoming an office gossip, or becoming weighed down with others’ problems.

2. The Joker – Sociable, Carefree & Witty
Using humor as his or her primary form of communication, the Joker thrives in lightening the mood and lifting team morale. He or she is widely liked and has a good social network. Watch out for: Not being taken seriously or as a professional.

3. The Dude – Unfazed, Calming & Relaxed
Laid back and relaxed, the Dude remains unflustered when things go awry and can have a calming influence on the rest of the team. He or she doesn’t transfer pressure onto colleagues. Watch out for: Being perceived as lazy or not understanding the gravity of a situation.
‘
4. The Cheerleader – Enthusiastic, Optimistic & Motivating
A team enabler, the Cheerleader provides encouragement and motivation. He or she is always willing to hand out praise, is eternally optimistic and has a can-do attitude. Watch out for: Moving too quickly without taking time to reflect.

5. The Realist – Down to Earth, Pragmatic & Logical
Always able to see the truth through the spin, the Realist tells it like it is. He or she is great at thinking through the pitfalls or challenges that may lie ahead. Watch out for: Coming across as negative, pessimistic or de-motivating.

6. Link – Sociable, Flighty & Connected
Cultivating as many relationships as possible, the Link believes success lies in who you know, not what you know. Watch out for: Being considered too shallow when not taking the time to foster deep relationships with others.

7. The Geek – Technically-minded, Fastidious & Quiet
With an exceptional attention to detail, the Geek is a conscientious perfectionist. He or she is conscientious, likes to retain control and always sees projects through to completion. Watch out for: Losing sight of the bigger picture and not delegating tasks appropriately.

8. The Innovator – Creative, Idealistic & Resourceful
Imaginative and quirky, the Innovator sees the big picture and loves dreaming up ideas. Watch out for: Not seeing projects through to their end and being perceived as fickle.

The clash of personality types partly has to do with the need to interact with others, which in our home countries would have less importance because of our extended social networks there. None of us (usually) have come here with friends in that kind of an established network. We are all looking for kindred spirits. That drive to answer the loneliness makes us all in a sense vulnerable, I think. When rejection occurs, or when criticism is given (even inadvertently), the feeling can hurt even more - causing a retreat into withdrawal for some.

I think it’s important that I try to exercise more patience and a sense of tolerance, forgiveness, to others. That is basic advice at the best of times. It becomes critical for the preservation of my emotional well-being here. I really can't choose my friends here, because I have to work together, and my options are limited. Learning to get along with others, to play nice, to choose my words and actions to fit the particular audience, is probably an adaptability skill of great value here. Those who choose to maintain the same traits and expectations that worked for them back home will find adjustment difficult here. I need to change to survive.